So I filed for divorce yesterday. I did it. And goshalmighty was it hard. It took an amazing amount of courage for me to march into that courthouse, and start legal proceedings that in about 6 weeks time will end my marriage.
I'll even confess that I had a secret deeply hidden fantasy that my husband would call on my way to the courthouse and stop me. He knew I intended to file first thing Monday morning. But he didn't, which is really no surprise, and I am thankful I found the resolve to see it through.
After it was done, I called him to tell him what to expect next. I told him that was the single hardest thing I've ever had to do. Know what his response was? "Sorry." How's that for sympathy? Maybe I'm being selfish, and he needs a little sympathy too. But jeeze...I was the one who had to walk into the courthouse and DO it. Maybe he doesn't understand the enormity of that.
I still find myself surprised at finding us on the very brink of divorce. I still have moments where I simply cannot believe my sweet and loving husband left me with every intention of divorcing. I still shake my head at that. I truly thought I would be married to him for the rest of my life.
Guess not.
