I’m trying to think about why this divorce is a good thing for me. I’m an avid list maker. So I’m making a list of all the good things about this. It all boils down to freedom.
- I am free to live my life, plan my life, execute my goals, chase my dreams…any way I think best without having to get anyone else’s buy in.
- I don’t have to consider or check with anyone before staying out all night. Not that I am prone to late nights, but I could if I wanted.
- I can think about my future without having to consider how I’m going to drag his sorry unmotivated ass with me. I can move at my own speed. Not his snail’s pace speed.
- I can explore my own interests any way I damn well please. I don’t have to worry about being married, committed, or responsible to or for another person. Much less a sorry-assed man who can't manage to live up to the single most important committment one can make in life.
- There’s no one in my bed but me. That can be a sad thing, but for me – at least at this moment – it’s a good thing. I get to wallow in my bed, use all the covers I want, arrange the pillows any way I want. I can lay in bed and watch silly movies, write, read, work on my laptop, listen to music, pet my dogs, talk on the phone, paint my toenails, think about tomorrow. It’s my haven. It’s my “woman cave”.
These are all good things that make me happy. This doesn’t mean I am anti-marriage. I am sure I will love again, make a commitment, have a meaningful relationship. But unless someone comes along who is very good about changing my mind, I likely won’t marry again. It would be like moving to a country where I give up all my personal freedoms. Why enter into a legal arrangement that will inevitably end and suck up all my personal freedom?
